written in stone

another installment of my column has gone peacefully into the night. As the writers strike has ended... i am glad to no longer walk those picket lines. JJ; come in from the cold. you will now be recognized.

There is something about the need to be a sports hero that is hard to shake. I’d say most young males who are into sports feel the same way. You grow up with the posters on your wall, weekends dedicated to sitting in front of the TV watching your idols; then going out and trying to do what they do with your friends on the playground. There is something very interesting in the anthropology of sports.

Many times when I thought it wasn’t going to happen, either because I wasn’t sure if I had the skills or that I just couldn’t see myself sacrificing more intellectual or cultural pursuits for the opportunity. A part of me just never gave up on that I suppose. Living this dream as a pro athlete is probably the best thing I’ve ever done. No matter how tough things are or how frustrated I can get over here in Europe, I always try and remember that.

Each new situation sends you out to a place you’ve never been and you generally don’t know anyone heading in. Every new season and new country is an expedition of expansion. Like my old man says; going and living somewhere foreign by yourself, is taking a risk, within which you learn more about yourself than anywhere else.

Odd as it may sound; there is something humbling about it all, leading to introspection in heavy doses…. seemingly overpowering sometimes. Not to get too philosophical but you really delve deeper into your psyche and find out what you are capable of. I guess this quote from Erica Jong sums it up for me: “Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that talent to the dark place that it leads.” As with anything in life, I suppose there are always a lot of excuses you can make to not do something and duck the risks of uncertainty; but when you do achieve what you want it is a beautiful thing.

It all comes with sacrifice though and a tough lesson learned is the toll that basketball takes on the personal life and relationships. In my eyes it’s almost impossible to do the two together. I suppose I’ve been out to disprove this to myself along the way both entering and leaving each season. Time and time again it’s come full circle and bit me pretty hard. Distance is a killer. I have never seen a relationship last an entire season with any of the imports that I’ve ever played with either. I suppose there is something intrinsically tragic in that. Don’t let Omar Epps and Hollywood fool you.... there aint no love and basketball.

In some ways it all fades to black when I’m on the court. Things streamline and melt away as jump shots rain down. We never do anything well unless we love it for its own sake, so for the moment it’s ball above all.